Eating Disorder Treatment Fundraiser for Malinda Ann Hill

“Malinda Ann Hill decided to resume treatment for her eating disorder almost as soon as she shifted to working remotely in March 2020.”
Trapped in the House With an Eating Disorder
By Virginia Sole-Smith
The New York Times
March 31, 2021

(UPDATED on September 27, 2021)

It has been difficult to share my story and ask for the help I desperately need.

I have been struggling greatly with an eating disorder relapse that was exacerbated by the pandemic and the stalking I have experienced for over 11 years .

On March 23, 2020, I was admitted into a virtual partial hospital program (PHP) for eating disorders. 

On May 5, 2020, I transferred to another virtual PHP.

On June 30, 2020, I was discharged from virtual PHP because I couldn’t afford to continue treatment and had to return to work.

On January 31, 2021, another stalking incident triggered another serious relapse.

On March 15, 2021, I was re-admitted to the virtual PHP for eating disorders. 

On May 14, 2021, I was unexpectedly discharged from PHP because virtual program had to suddenly close.

On May 17, 2021, I was admitted to virtual intensive outpatient program (IOP) for mental health while continuing to attend virtual peer support groups for my eating disorder.

On July 20, 2021, I was suddenly discharged from IOP because the team recommended residential treatment.

On August 17, 2021, I was admitted to a virtual PHP for eating disorders, anxiety, depression & PTSD.

On August 31, 2021, I was notified that my employment status is terminated on October 1 and I will lose my health insurance on November 1.

On September 27, 2021, I was admitted to an in-person PHP for eating disorders, anxiety, depression & PTSD.

I continue to struggle emotionally, physically and financially.

If you are able to help me continue treatment by donating $5, I’d greatly appreciate your support.

If you cannot afford to donate, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Thank you.

GoFundMe Fundraiser

https://gofund.me/6d3611a6

Malinda Ann Hill's Eating Disorder Treatment Fund on GoFundMe

“Malinda Ann Hill decided to resume treatment for her eating disorder almost as soon as she shifted to working remotely in March 2020.”
Trapped in the House With an Eating Disorder
By Virginia Sole-Smith
The New York Times
March 31, 2021

It has not been easy for me to share my story and ask for help even when I know I desperately need help.

I have been struggling greatly with an eating disorder relapse that was exacerbated by the pandemic and the stalking I have experienced for over 11 years .

I entered my first virtual partial hospital program on March 22, 2020 and was discharged from my second virtual partial hospital program on June 30, 2020 because I had to return to work.

I am currently suffering from another serious relapse that worsened after another stalking incident on January 31, 2021.

I entered my third virtual partial hospital program on March 15, 2021. Unfortunately, I was unexpectedly discharged from the program on on May 14, 2021 because the virtual program had to close suddenly and I was unable to attend the program in person.

I entered my first virtual intensive outpatient program on May 17, 2021 while I continue to attend virtual peer support groups.

I am waiting to receive assessments with the only other two eating disorder programs that are in-network with my insurance.

I am currently on my second medical leave of absence from work so I am struggling financially, emotionally and physically.

On July 1, I must pay $3,800 to continue treatment since my coverage starts over with a new medical plan administrator.

If you can donate $5 to fund my continued treatment, I'd greatly appreciate your financial assistance.

If you cannot afford to donate, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Thank you.

Malinda Ann Hill
June 1, 2021

Can I Believe You?

Devastated by the sudden death of someone who helped me on my journey towards recovery.

Thanks to each person I’ve encountered on my path who has made such an impact on my life.

Grateful for every moment of connection or inspiration, no matter how brief or profound. 

The pain I feel when the connection ends shows me how much I still care.

Thinking of everyone grieving this tremendous loss.

Self Portrait by Malinda Ann Hill

My journey of recovery from as eating disorder relapse as of June 7, 2021.

Before the pandemic, I participated in the Portraits of Health Project by John Cruice Photography.

‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step’

My journey of recovery from an eating disorder is similar to my experience with running. My path has not been linear – there have been steps forwards and steps backwards. I take one step at a time – sometimes joyfully, sometimes painfully. I decided to share my experience, strength and hope in the midst of my journey so that others know that they are not alone and healing is possible.

Unfortunately, I continue to struggle greatly on my path.

Where the Sidewalk Ends by Malinda Ann Hill

On March 31, I shared my story with Virginia Sole-Smith in her New York Times article “Trapped in the House with an Eating Disorder” to help raise awareness.

Trapped in the House with an Eating Disorder

On May 14, I was discharged from a virtual partial hospitalization program I began on March 15 because the program suddenly closed.

On May 17, I received authorization to attend a virtual intensive outpatient program while waiting for assessments from the only two virtual eating disorder programs approved by my insurance.

As I continue on my path of recovery, I’m supporting the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), writing about my experience and compiling information.

It has not been easy to find virtual treatment options during the pandemic and NEDA offers support and resources.

If you’ve found help or you’re willing to share your experience, please comment below.

Thank you for your kind words and support.

Current theme song on repeat:

“Can I Believe You” by Fleet Foxes

Can I believe you?

Can I believe you?

Can I ever know your mind?

Am I handing you mine?

Do we both confide?

I see it eat through every word I sow

See what you need to, do you doubt it's yours?

Now I'm learning the ropes, never get this close

I've been wounded before

Hasn't let me go

It never got less strange, 

showing anyone just a bare face

If I don't, well, nothing will change

Staying under my weather all day

Can I believe you when you say I'm good?

I didn't need to when I wished you would

No it isn't enough

Never held that much

Now another way up

Been a row too rough

It never got less strange, 

showing anyone just a bare face

But if I don't, well, nothing will change

Staying under my weather all day

Lately I'm wondering too

What type of desire I can break

When I'm one way with them, one with you

What half is it of me rearranged?

Can I believe you?

Can I believe you?

I want to need you

I want to need you

Can I believe you?

Can I believe you?

Songwriter: Robin Pecknold

Can I Believe You on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert