Overcoming a Bad Race - @LeahCville's Lessons Learned at the 2016 Chicago Marathon

I ran my 5th Chicago Marathon on Sunday, October 9th and it was my slowest in that city by about 13 seconds.

A Goal = 3:55:00 or under
B Goal = 3:59:59
C Goal = finish and still be excited to train for Boston 2017 w/ @malindaannhill

I've qualified three times for the Boston Marathon on this course, but due to a less than ideal training cycle this summer plus a September filled with a serious sickness, extreme stress, and frighteningly low mileage, I knew hitting my A or B goals would be a stretch. However, my coach encouraged me to try because I did have a decent time at the Women's Four Miler in early September.

My plan was to go out with the 4 hour pace group and try to run a negative split. The only time I've done that was in 2008 when I ran the 1st half of the National Marathon in 2:00 and 2nd half in 1:54. I was hoping I could pull that off again, but unfortunately I just didn't have the energy. Should I have started even slower so that I could have at least run a negative split even if my finish time might have been over 4;10? I'll probably obsess & regret that when the ruminating and race dissection phase starts!

The only good thing about this year's race is I didn't feel any serious pain like I did in 2011 when I ran my first Chicago Marathon. After finishing in 2011, I wrote a post about needing a medal for dropping out because I really should have stopped running that year. So even if I felt tired and could barely life my feet off the ground at times, nothing really hurt (except MY PRIDE!)

I started more slowly than I have ever in any marathon in the past 6-8 years, but I just got slower. Sometimes sh-t happens. When you have a bad race it makes you appreciate the good ones even more. Last year I hit my goal of under 3:55 by 4 secs (3:49:56 which got me into the 2017 Boston Marathon!) and I was happy for about one hour, then I started criticizing myself because I didn't run a negative split and I didn't run even faster. This is how my mind works. Even when I achieve something, I dissect it and tear it apart. So I guess it's a little comforting to feel badly about doing badly because that actually makes sense! :)

When I was getting my post-race massage in the Balboa Tent (that experience is worth every penny!), I decided I wasn't going to end Chicago on a disappointing note. Now that I'm a "legacy" I've got guaranteed entry into the 40th running of the Chicago Marathon in 2017 and I plan to be there for my 30th and final marathon. Yes, I mean it. I've been running marathons since 2007 and it seems fitting to end my marathon "career" 10 years later with my two favorite marathons - Boston with my twin sister in April and Chicago with 40,000+ fellow runners.

One final note: When I realized I wasn't going to run under 4 hours I saw a man pushing a running stroller. He had a memorial on his back for his wife who died of ALS in July 2016 and in the stroller was a framed photo of her. I couldn't hold back the tears when I saw that. It put my "failure" into perspective. I had submitted a motivational text before the race, "Each mile's a gift! Negative split!" and seeing this man persevere through this race without his wife reminded me that indeed each mile is a gift. I'm so grateful to have been able to run so many miles with so many people I care about and who are important to me. Thanks so much to my coach, Mark Lorenzoni, my twin sister, Malinda, and all my family and friends for supporting me all these years!

​- leah

Random Notes:

Thrilled to see Joan Benoit Samuelson in the 15th floor lobby at the Hilton Chicago on Friday.. My coach told me to tell her he and Cynthia said hi next time I saw her, but alas that didn't happen. :(

Excited to see Deena Kastor sitting in the lobby of the Hilton on Saturday. (really should have had made a bingo card for celebrity runner sightings!)

Disappointed and annoyed at myself for not having a question prepared to ask Executive Race Director Carey Pinkowski at the Balboa Tent before the race. ACK!!!!!!! (also regretting not getting a photo of the huge platter of meat at Belly Up before Nicole and I devoured it on Friday!)

Ecstatic to get to shake hands with Florence Kiplagat the winner of the Chicago Marathon (and realized I also saw her at the hotel like 3 times the previous two days)

Happy that Rock City Skirts saw me on the course and took some pictures of me wearing the custom skirt they made per my request! :)

Loved the view from the ladies bathroom at the Signature Room. Wow!

Enjoyed the Wendella Original Architectural Tour the day before the race.

Overjoyed I caught a new Pokemon on the course!

Random Photos:








































Here are more resources on dealing with bad races:

http://www.runnersworld.com/sports-psychology/three-ways-to-cope-with-a-bad-race

http://www.runnersworld.com/race-training/how-to-let-go-of-a-bad-race-experience

http://running.competitor.com/2014/05/training/moving-on-after-a-race-goes-wrong_47839

http://running.competitor.com/2014/04/training/how-you-can-benefit-from-a-bad-race_20530

http://www.runnersgoal.com/should-i-quit-running-mentally-dealing-with-a-bad-race-result/

http://asklaurenfleshman.com/questions/how-to-bounce-back-from-a-bad-race-like-a-badass/

2015 Chicago Marathon Race Recap

2015 Chicago Marathon Race Recap by @LeahCville

So I've been procrastinating on writing up my race recap for the 2015 Chicago Marathon because I've been in a bit of a funk with the post-marathon blues. Many runners get a little antsy in the taper phase, but I find recovery is even worse. Taking time off from running gives me more time to over-analyze my race performance and find ways to criticize myself despite having achieved my goal of sub 3;50. Ugh!

I pretty much lost all confidence in my ability to ever BQ again after running my slowest of 3 Boston Marathons in April (4:08, previously ran 3:53 in 2013 and 3:53 in 2014), And when the news came out that entry into the 2016 Boston Marathon required a -2:28 BQ, I really started to panic. I had been hoping that a 3:53 would be good enough to get into 2017. Since I've run that time or better three times since 2013, I thought I could probably do it again, but trying to run in the 3:40s seemed daunting. However, once I accepted that the only way to BQ without extreme squeaker anxiety for the next year was to get a -5 minute time, I decided it was sub 3:50 or BUST!

I met with my coach twice in the the two weeks before the race because I needed a serious pep talk and reality check. My last twenty miler three weeks before the marathon totally sucked and I barely finished. It probably wasn't a wise idea to do that crucial long run the day after a 10K race, whoops! But I thought since my 10K wasn't as fast as I wanted, that meant I could still do the 20 miler. Yeah, I could do it, as my coach said, but I shouldn't have expected it to go well! #truth

He told me that my last long run should be 12 miles at marathon pace and if I couldn't do that then I needed to come back and talk to him and re-evaluate my goal. The next day I ran 12 miles at 8:15 pace and felt more capable of achieving the 3:50 time.

Since September I had been obsessively putting my race times into race prediction calculators to see if I could still run a decent marathon and also comparing my performances in the same races the other years I ran Chicago (2011, 2012, and 2013). My Women's Four Miler time 5 weeks before the marathon predicted a 3:33 in the Runner's Ally app (yeah right!), but my Pepsi 10K time 3 weeks beforehand predicted a range of 3:42 - 3:51 based on my coach's chart. When I met with my coach the second time I questioned whether I wasn't being aggressive enough with my goal, but he pointed out that even though I did have a couple decent races this summer, I also had some bad ones so it seemed right to go out with a conservative goal and if the weather was ok, maybe I'd surprise myself and run faster in the second half.

I've only run a negative split once in my life - my 2nd marathon when I finished in 3:54 and ran the first half in about 2 hours. I really wanted to get as close to a negative split as possible in Chicago. I knew the only way to do this was to go out with the 3:50 pace group.

I've had problems with my Garmin in Chicago before, and this year it was no different.

I knew the displayed pace would be almost useless when it beeped before 1st mile marker and progressively got worse as I made it through the race. I stayed with the 3:50 group for about 10K and then I turned around to look for them and couldn't find them. Another woman asked which group I was looking for and said they were definitely behind me. She said she was hoping to get a couple minutes ahead of her pace group.... as if that was a good plan of action. There's no such thing time in the bank in the marathon people! For ever minute you go too fast in the the first half it'll come back to slow you 2x or 3x as much in the 2nd half. #beentheredonethat

"I’m not sure where the “time in the bank” theory came from, but the strategy has lead to the demise of more marathon runners than any other source."

Since I definitely didn't go out too fast for the first 6 miles, I decided to listen to all those friends who told me "run by feel" and I hoped for the best as I ran without the aid of the pace group. I looked down at my watch a few times over the next couple miles and saw my overall pace go down by about 5 seconds per mile and thought, uh oh. I tried to keep it more consistent and knew that once I saw my half split I'd be able to better gauge how things were going. I hit the 1/2 way point just under 1:54 which is the slowest I have run the first half of my 3 Chicago Marathons and 3 Boston Marathons since 2011. However, I also knew this was a minute too fast for my 3:50 goal and worried that I would be slowing down in the second half, but hoped I wouldn't hit the wall.

I still felt pretty good through mile 18, but soon after that the sun and heat started getting to me. I couldn't bear another cup of Gatorade so I switched to water. I kept checking my fingers to see if they were puffing up, but I seemed to be handling the switch ok. I struggled with opening and eating the Clif Blocks and Gels, but I knew I had to consume some calories along the course.




Once I hit mile 20 I noticed my overall pace was slowing down and I tried my best to keep it from creeping up more than 1 second every mile. I knew the 3:50 pace group would be coming for me and I was trying my best to not let them pass me until there were less than 2 miles to go. And that's about when I saw the 3:50 flag that I started the marathon with. It looked like there was only once other woman with him. I talked with the pacer at the expo a couple days before so I knew he planned on finishing the race around 3:49;47. I figured that even if he was ahead of me, as long as I could see him I would still be able to achieve my goal.

At mile 25 started thinking about how I was going to explain on social media and to my friends how I let everything slip away in the final mile of this race. I already started to accept that I wasn't going to get get sub 3:50, and rationalized that maybe 3:51 or 3:52 wouldn't be so bad. I still had a shot of getting into 2017 with a -3 minute time.

I was thrilled to see the 1 mile to go sign and 800M to go signs, but somewhere before the 400M sign I had an intense wave of nausea which has never happened to me before. I started to panic, thinking OMG it' s ALL OVER with the equivalent of a lap to go! NOOOO!!!!! I was seriously worried that I might not even finish. I think I briefly stopped and dry-heaved a couple times and then realized I just had to push through it and puke once I got to the finish line. I remember wanting something to hurt so I could push through the pain and just get this damn thing over with. I'm not sure how, but somehow I made it... I crossed the finish line! And then I went to the side and threw up. Well,, I tried, but not much came out. And almost immediately a volunteer came to help me and make sure I was ok. I kept apologizing to her and she said it was ok, I just ran a marathon and I could lean on her. I walked with her a bit and stopped a couple more times to try throwing up. Then we saw some guy about to fall over and I told her go take care of him, because I was fine.

I was so focused on trying to stop feeling sick that I never even looked at the time on my Garmin. I took out my iPhone and saw I had a bunch of texts congratulating me which made me feel good. I still didn't know my official time, but I had to text my coach first, before anyone else. And at 12;32 I wrote "Holy f--k." And then typed a riddle: "What takes less time... Me finishing marathon or de licing Annaliviai's hair. I win". Yeah, i forgot to mention that during the marathon I was expecting a text from my husband to tell me if the Lice Doctors came and found anything on my daughter's head. And when he texted me "Oh yeah, she's got a full-blown case" all I could think of was the show "Life's Too Short" when Liam Neeson was trying to do improv and said he had full-blown AIDS. I laughed to myself and tried to text my husband back but the damn autocorrect was screwing everything up. At 10am my husband wrote back "How was yr race?" And my reply was "Dull inning" which I think was supposed to be "Still running" - HA! and "Only 1/2 way." At 11:11am he replied she was "only halfway through alps hair." That's when I realized that I was probably going to beat the lice lady and be done first. I was right. by A LOT. :(

So what cost more? Two nights in a Chicago hotel during marathon weekend or the Lice Doctors? Yeah, that was a tie. YIKES!

A few random thoughts:

I was so excited to get my photo taken with Deena Kastor holding my Flat Twin on Saturday morning. I had met her before in Boston 2014, but I had forgotten how small she is! I'm pretty sure my calf is bigger than her thigh. I couldn't help myself but say, "You're so tiny!" And she replied, "Don't let that fool you! I'm fierce!" I wished her luck with her race on Sunday. She's soooo amazing! Every time I looked at the blue line on the course (and I was on top of that line from about mile 3 on), I kept thinking Deena just ran these streets and I'm so lucky to be following in her footsteps.

There's only one post-race photo of me which shows you just how sick I was feeling that I didn't even stop for congratulatory photos. On the other hand, I got like 5 pre-race pictures!

I loved splurging on a ticket to the Balboa Hospitality Tent. I was the first person to use one of the portapotties and never had to wait in line before or after the race. The post-race massage was heavenly and even though I had absolutely no appetite after the race, there was great food.

I had the best time taking an architectural boat tour after the race, although it might have been a good idea to do that the day before the race instead.

I woke up in the middle of the night before the race with my foot hurting. I'm not sure how I did it, but I got a cut under my little toe on my right foot and it was painful. I was panicking wondering if I should go to the 24 hour Walgreens for a liquid bandaid, but I ended up running through it. Boy did it hurt for days after the race though!

I ended up walking for 4 hours on Friday because I thought it would be nice to walk to the Expo from my hotel on the Magnificent Mile, but then I couldn't find the shuttle to take me back. Whoops!

I'm probably the only person at the Balboa Tent who wanted a photo with race director Carey Pinkowski, but was too afraid to ask. As a marathon race director myself, I really admire the job he does!

I was happy with my race performance for about 24 hours before the negative thoughts started creeping in. I wish I could be satisfied and content with achieving my goals instead of second guessing and criticizing myself for shortcomings. This is something I'm working on, but it's hard to not expect more from myself.

When I finished the race I told myself I would never run another marathon until April 2017 when hopefully my twin will be running her first Boston Marathon and I just might be running my last. I really want Malinda to qualify this fall and for both our times to be good enough to get into the race. I've dreamed of running Boston with my sister since 2013 and want it to become reality.

Even though I said I'm done with marathons, within 48 hours after the race, I started thinking that if I got into the lottery for Chicago in 2016, then I will have run my 5th Chicago Marathon and will be considered a legacy and get guaranteed entry in the future. Help me! :)




Well, I didn't run a negative split, butI was just 2 minutes slower in the second half whereas in previous years I was 3-4 minutes or more!


My splits, from fastest to slowest. Yeah, my last 10K was my slowest!


Even though I was sad that my real twin sister couldn't be in Chicago with me again this time (she joined me in 2012 and 2013), I had Flat Twin to take around the town! :)


The last photo of me with LONG hair. Deena Kastor broke the American Master's marathon record!

---

2013 Chicago Marathon Race Report

By @LeahCville

I'll miss you personalized TWINS RUN shirt!

In the 2-3 weeks before the 2013 Chicago Marathon, as I continually weather stalked the forecast, I decided that if temperatures weren’t comparable to the near-perfect conditions that lead to my PR last year (3:36:35, 38 degrees at the start, 46 at the finish), I would completely scratch out my A/B goals (A goal = 3:35, -5 min BQ; B goal = 3:36:34 PR). My revised C goal would be to BQ by at least -1:38 (3:43:22), the time needed to gain entry into the 2014 Boston Marathon and a somewhat safe bet on a 2015 qualifying time.

I admit that my confidence in running to my potential was seriously rattled after the 2013 Boston Marathon when I ran far short of my goal, yet persevered to a 3:53:07, only after contemplating just throwing in the towel and walking. The irony is that when I saw my goal of running 3:40 in Boston slip away by the 10 mile point, I rallied and changed my goal to running my 3rd fastest time (under 3:54:47) because I didn’t want to have a “bad memory” of the race. Little did I know at the time, that things would get much worse than not meeting a time goal.

So after much deliberation, I decided that instead of running with the 3:35 pace group like I did last year, I would start out with the 3:40 group and hope I could hold on for the entire race. Knowing my history of running 20 marathons with a positive split (yes, only 1 of my 21 marathons, my 2nd, was a negative split!), I had a feeling that I would probably do so again and thought that if I started at 3:40 pace, I could slow down 3:22 in the 2nd half and still meet my goal (or, worst case scenario, slow down 5 minutes and be a BQ squeaker). Last year I ran the 2nd half 3:35 slower (1:46:30 and 1:50:05).


Malinda sporting a custom Boston Strong
sparkle skirt from Rock City Skirts.

The Boston Marathon was heavily on my mind during the entire trip. I wore my 2013 Boston Marathon jacket with pride and was happy to talk to anyone who stopped me on the street to share my story of the race. Before the walking to the starting line, my twin and I met with a reporter and were interviewed about our experiences as a runner and spectator at the 2013 Boston Marathon and how it affected our plans for the Chicago Marathon.

As we made our way to the starting line, my twin and I posed for countless pre-race photos. However, only one was in the sunlight (and sadly, in that natural lighting shot, I was photobombed by a highway sigh). Darn the flash for uncovering every flaw in your complexion!




We went out with the 3:40 pace group and after running behind them for 2-3 miles, I decided to go in front so I could just run my own pace and not freak out that I was only a few steps from losing them. This could have been a mistake since I did speed up slightly from the goal pace of 8:24 (my first four 5K splits were 8:18, 8:18, 8:22, 8:21).

During the 30K, the pace group that I had been ahead of for the entire race, finally passed me. I started to freak out a bit. I knew that last 5K was considerably slower (8:35 pace) and if I wanted to reach my goal, I’d have to push it into a new gear instead of continuing to slow down. At this point, my tank top was already on the side of the road (I ditched that around mile 13), and I decided to double up on pouring water on my head. This really helped and I was able to run the next 5K faster (8:28 pace).

With 6 miles to go, I reached the bargaining and math stage – if you just run one more mile at this pace, you can slow down for the rest of the race and still reach your goal.


Uh oh. My MP3 player isn't working!

Then with three miles to go disaster struck, my MP3 player froze and I no longer had my power songs to push me through. Thank goodness the crowd support was so intense, it kept me going (I only wish I would have had my shirt with my name on it so I could hear people call my name those last few miles!).

When I hit the 40K point, I started to panic a bit. There seemed to be runners down with medics with even more frequency, others walking slowly in obvious pain. Even though I knew I could reach my goal if I ran a 10 minute mile pace, I couldn’t help but wonder what I would do if something new started hurting, or I stumbled over a runner who stopped suddenly in front of me. I was so cautious and focused at this point that I felt like I was clinging onto my goal for dear life. Seeing so many people on the ground or zombie-like with less than a mile to go really freaked me out. I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous and scared during the last mile of a race. I had made it this far, the thought of being so close and not running a BQ was terrifying. I started feeling like I was going to throw up (something that never happened to me in a race) and my shoes were so soaked it was like running on sponges! I think that’s probably why my last mile, especially the last .2 mi was so slow, I didn’t dare risk “sprinting” to the end, for fear I’d pull something and then be on the ground too!


Whoo hoo! I met my goal. PHEW!

I think I was happier at the finish line this year, running 6 minutes slower, than I was in 2012 when I ran a PR. Last year, I was disappointed because I really wanted to run under 3:35 and I felt like I blew it the last 4.5 miles. This year, I could have easily given up during miles 16-18, but I focused and pushed through it. I still slowed down more than I wanted to, but I achieved my goal by almost a minute 3:42:23 (-2:37).

I was grateful that we were forced to walk so long through the finish area because otherwise I might have ended up in a ball on the side of the road succumbing to the nauseous and cramping. As soon as I got to the Balboa Tent I went up to runner tracking to find out how my twin did. I was really hoping she had qualified too, but I lost touch with her around the ½ way point so I had no idea what happened. When I found out she ran 4:04, I knew she’d be just as sad as I was in 2011 when I was on pace for a BQ up until the half, but ended up finishing 4:07. I know my sister was disappointed and upset, but I also know she will qualify just like I did. This was just her first attempt at a BQ. I made about 4-5 serious attempts before I finally made it. I have complete confidence in her, because it’s genetic. If I can do it, so can she!

LESSONS LEARNED:

1. Make sure to have at least 3-4 race goals (and one of them should be to finish or to drop out if that's the best choice). All stars must align for you to reach your A goal, but that doesn't mean all is lost. As long as you have different levels of success in your mind, you can still finish with a sense accomplishments. I'm still working towards my goal of one more negative split marathon! (I'm definitely trying for that at the Dopey Challenge!)

2. Practice postive self-talk and have a few mantras to get you through the last 6 miles. I kept thinking "BOSTON" and "EACH MILE IS A GIFT."

3. Listen to your body and make adjustments. I always drink gatorade and not water during marathons, but I felt like the gatorade was making me sick, so I stuck to bananas and water for the 2nd half of the race.

4. I'd rather run through a little discomfort than full-on fatigue! The first 6 miles I was quite aware of my hip and piriformis. I was definitely not running painfree, but I was able to manage it and still maintain my goal pace. It wasn't until the sun was blazing and I started feeling tired that the miles got tougher.

6. Don't always trust your Garmin, especially if you're in a city with lots of tall buildings! I hardly looked at my watch during the race because I knew it wouldn't be accurate. Luckily I only ran 26.37 miles, but I know others whose watches said they ran 27! One of the best things about a race that's large and part of the World Marathon Majors is that you get 5K splits (same with Boston). I LOVE DATA! It's so fun to compare accurate splits from year to year.


7. POWER SONGS! I love finding songs that have a line or two that summarizes what I'm trying to do on the course. i.e., "I can't let you, can't let you pass me by.", "you better run run run", "We always dreamed about this better life, this better life" (For all the songs on my 2013 Chicago Playlist, you can visit my music page.)

8. THANK THE VOLUNTEERS! I made sure to say thank you to every single person who handed me a cup of water (especially since I think I might have splashed a few as I poured the contents over my head!). I can't imagine standing out there for hours without getting some encouragement, especially since they aren't getting paid! So if you have the energy, don't forget to say "Thanks!"

9. Sometimes you get what you pay for and some times you don't, but if there's an "upgrade" option at a race, I usually take it! The Balboa Tent at the Chicago Marathon isn't cheap, but, for me, it's worth the money. A warm place to hang out before the race, easy bag drop, pre- and post-race food, and post-race massages are nice amenities to have. The Chicago Marathon isn't cheap to begin with, but it's a first class experience - from an amazingly organized packet pick-up, to free runner tracking, to an amazing race shirt and results book. The World Marathon Majors are top notch races and, if you can, I'd highly recommend attending at least one!

10. I love race photos! My fave is the one below. I'm looking focused (and am in focus, ha!). I can't believe I don't look more in angst because this was close to the end! There are plenty of other pictures where I'm definitely NOT smiling! :)

Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Coping with Marathon Disappointment

I hadn't heard this song for years and then I heard it on Monday. I laughed and then I cried (sort of). I dreamed of and trained for a BQ. But, I didn't reach my goal in Chicago. Leah and I ran together for 12 miles. But, then I hit the "Great Wall" in Chinatown... she ran on and I walked alone. It was a definitely a "Boulevard of Broken Dreams." Yes, I am disappointed and I will wallow for a bit. But, then I will try again. I have not given up on my goal to BQ.

Last year, I was caught in a tweet and run. Sunday, I was caught in a walk and marathon. ;-)

I may not have reached my goals, but I finished with my 2nd fastest time. 

BTW...Nike Plus was way off again. Although, it felt like 27.7 miles!

Massage me!

Did you run the Chicago Marathon?

Did you meet your race goals?

How do you cope with race disappointment?