TWINS RUN in our family: Grief

Showing posts with label Grief. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 15, 2021

Eating Disorder Treatment Fundraiser for Malinda Ann Hill

“Malinda Ann Hill decided to resume treatment for her eating disorder almost as soon as she shifted to working remotely in March 2020.”
Trapped in the House With an Eating Disorder
By Virginia Sole-Smith
The New York Times
March 31, 2021

(UPDATED on September 27, 2021)

It has been difficult to share my story and ask for the help I desperately need.

I have been struggling greatly with an eating disorder relapse that was exacerbated by the pandemic and the stalking I have experienced for over 11 years .

On March 23, 2020, I was admitted into a virtual partial hospital program (PHP) for eating disorders.

On May 5, 2020, I transferred to another virtual PHP.

On June 30, 2020, I was discharged from virtual PHP because I couldn’t afford to continue treatment and had to return to work.

On January 31, 2021, another stalking incident triggered another serious relapse.

On March 15, 2021, I was re-admitted to the virtual PHP for eating disorders.

On May 14, 2021, I was unexpectedly discharged from PHP because virtual program had to suddenly close.

On May 17, 2021, I was admitted to virtual intensive outpatient program (IOP) for mental health while continuing to attend virtual peer support groups for my eating disorder.

On July 20, 2021, I was suddenly discharged from IOP because the team recommended residential treatment.

On August 17, 2021, I was admitted to a virtual PHP for eating disorders, anxiety, depression & PTSD.

On August 31, 2021, I was notified that my employment status is terminated on October 1 and I will lose my health insurance on November 1.

On September 27, 2021, I was admitted to an in-person PHP for eating disorders, anxiety, depression & PTSD.

I continue to struggle emotionally, physically and financially.

If you are able to help me continue treatment by donating $5, I’d greatly appreciate your support.

If you cannot afford to donate, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Thank you.

GoFundMe Fundraiser

https://gofund.me/6d3611a6

Friday, July 13, 2018

Running Through Grief: The Process of Remembering with More Joy and Less Pain, One Step at a Time

Six years ago today, on Friday the 13th, I received the call from my mom that my grandma (affectionately know as GG by my daughter) had fallen and was in the hospital. While hospitalized, it was discovered that she had advanced lung cancer. As my family dealt with the shock, they worked tirelessly with the hospital staff to make sure her pain was under control. They began to plan to take her home on hospice but she died in the hospital on Monday, July 16, 2012.

While the intensity of the grief has lessened, the anniversary reaction seems to have hit me harder this year. Maybe it's because the dates fall on the same days of the week? Maybe it's because I'm more emotional about life in general this year? Either way, grief still hurts. I know it's OK to hurt and it's OK to cry.

I'm grateful that I had such a special relationship with my grandma. And, I'm grateful that my daughter adored her, too. My grandma made us feel loved and valued. She was present. She listened. She cared. She was kind.

I was reminded of my grandma when I recently saw "Won't You Be My Neighbor" - the documentary about Mister Rogers. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it - and make sure to bring a supply of tissues since I was crying buckets.

I'm also grateful that I started running again shortly before she died. I found great solace as I ran in her memory with Team Lemon to support Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation for Childhood Cancer. Each step helped me through my grief and together we have raised over $4,000 for Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation.

I'm also grateful for the power of music that connected me with others and helped me through my grief. A few months before my grandma died, I met Anne through our love of The Afghan Whigs. After we bonded over music, I learned that she recently lost her husband to colon cancer and she was the mother to a young boy. She has shared some beautiful posts about love and grief on her blog: www.mamadeakspeaks.com

I'm also grateful for the wealth of grief resources on the internet. What's Your Grief is one of my favorite resources:

What's Your Grief: Dealing with the Anniversary of a Loved One's Death

whatsyourgrief.com/dealing-with-the-anniversary-of-a-loved-ones-death

How have you coped with grief?

Have you found solace in running?

Have you found comfort in music?

Have you found support on the internet?

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Meaningful Moments and Music: The Afghan Whigs at Union Transfer on September 12, 2017

So many meaningful moments and bittersweet memories over the past few days.

On Saturday, I ran the Undy Run in memory of Joe and Dave Rosser to support the Colon Cancer Alliance.

On Tuesday, thanks to my dear friend Anne, we spent the evening with The Afghan Whigs at Union Transfer.

On Friday, I registered for the 2018 Boston Marathon as a time qualifier.

Just over 5 years ago I connected with Anne through our love of The Afghan Whigs. We soon discovered that we were also mother runners.

I was so inspired when Anne reached her goal to run the 2016 Boston Marathon. Her love and support kept me going as I kept trying to reach my BQ goal.

I've been running to the music of The Afghan Whigs since the days of the cassette Walkman and finished my 1st marathon in 1995.

Twenty-one years later I qualified to run the 2018 Boston Marathon (my 12th attempt since 2013) while raising awareness & funds for Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation for Childhood Cancer in memory of Michael & GG.

Thanks again to Greg, John, Patrick, Jon, Rick & Dave for the music that keeps me running.

As soon as I learned I'd have a chance for a photo opp, I knew I had to put the flat twins on sticks. ;-)

Greg is holding me and John is holding Leah.

Greg's reaction when I showed him the flat twins was awesome.

I would've left happy with these priceless photos of the flat twins with the band but they insisted I get in on a group photo.

I wasn't feeling particularly photogenic but I'm grateful they persisted even if I think I look like a deer in headlights. ;-)

Pre-concert selfie with Anne and our signed VIP posters.

Mother runners who rock the front row.

#VivaLaRosser

Thanks to Joe del Tufo for this concert review and photos:

The Afghan Whigs mesmerize at Union Transfer

http://thekey.xpn.org/2017/09/14/the-afghan-whigs-union-transfer-2/

Setlist:

Birdland
Arabian Heights
Matamoros
Debonair
Crazy
Light as a Feather
Honky’s Ladder
Oriole
Toy Automatic
Can Rova / Last Goodbye (Jeff Buckley cover)
What Jail Is Like
Algiers
Going to Town (Slight Return)
Demon In Profile
It Kills
John the Baptist
Somethin’ Hot
I Wanna Be Your Lover (Prince cover)
Amphetamines & Coffee
Into the Floor

Encore:

Parked Outside
Summer’s Kiss
Faded (with intro: How Deep Is Your Love - Bee Gees cover)

P.S. This is why I love YouTube ...

Dear Prudence at the VIP Soundcheck

Going to Town at the VIP Soundcheck

Birdland / Arabian Heights

Matamoros

Debonair

Crazy

Light as a Feather

Honky’s Ladder

Oriole

Toy Automatic

Can Rova / Last Goodbye (Jeff Buckley cover)

What Jail Is Like
Algiers
Going to Town (Slight Return)
Demon In Profile

It Kills

John the Baptist

Somethin’ Hot
I Wanna Be Your Lover (Prince cover)
Amphetamines & Coffee
Into the Floor

Encore:

Parked Outside
Summer’s Kiss

Faded (with intro: How Deep Is Your Love - Bee Gees cover)

Monday, May 1, 2017

Make It Your Moment: Malinda Ann's 1st Boston Marathon

“It’s through storytelling that I motivate myself. I try to come up with a story that will motivate me to get out there and attempt a goal" - Joan Benoit Samuelson

"So many moments make up a marathon. All uniquely personal, but when looked at together they truly embody what it means to #BeBoston." - John Hancock Extra Mile

“You're alive in the moment, and the moment is truly all anyone has.” - Greg Dulli

I've started writing this post dozens of times...

Tears come to my eyes whenever I think of all the people who helped me on my long road to Boston.

The moments that made up my marathon story were so meaningful to me that it's been difficult for me to put the experience into words.

As I begin to write my story, I want to express my deepest gratitude for all the support I received before, during and after my 1st Boston Marathon.

I will continue to add to this post as I gather my thoughts. I hope that my story will inspire others in the way that so many stories have inspired me.

In the meantime, my 4 sources for memorable moments on Marathon Monday:

1) Running with Dana-Farber

I was so grateful for the opportunity to be a charity runner.

Running for a reason greater than myself made my experience much more meaningful.

Since 2012, Leah and I have been running with Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation for Childhood Cancer in memory of Leah's brother-in-law, Michael and our grandmother, Aileen, known affectionately as "GG" by my daughter.

Since so many of our family and friends have been and continue to be affected by cancer, joining the Dana-Farber Marathon Challenge was the perfect choice for me.

It was inspiring to see so many #RunDFMC charity runners and spectators along the course.

I'm so very grateful for the 45 friends and followers who generously donated to Dana-Farber. I matched all the donations that I received to double the impact of your generosity.

Together we we went the distance to conquer cancer. We raised $5,050 and 100% of every $1 donated will support cancer research at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

2) Music & Musicians

Music by Plastic Ants, The Afghan Whigs & Greg Dulli kept me moving during my marathon training - especially during my long treadmill runs.

While I often listen to music while running, I chose to run without music for most of the marathon so I could fully appreciate the sounds and sights along the road from Hopkinton to Boston.

"Tough Girls (Got To Tough It Out)" was my #Train2BQ (x 12) theme song. This was also one of the songs that motivated Leah during her painful run and kept us running together to the finish line.

I've been running to music by The Afghan Whigs and Greg Dulli for over 23 years. Receiving these messages of support from The Afghan Whigs & Greg Dulli meant so much to me.

3) Spectator Support

The spectator support from Hopkinton to Boston is awesome.

Thanks to Wellesley's Munger Hall for our Scream Tunnel signs.

I made certain to show my support to all spectators cheering along the road to Boston.

I shouted "THANK YOU!" until I was hoarse and high-fived as many spectators as physically possible.

Tears welled up in my eyes many times as I remembered the spectators killed and injured on April 15, 2013. I continue to think of everyone whose lives were forever changed on that tragic day.

I've tried many times to express my thoughts about my experience in Boston on April 15 but I still can't find the words.

Thanks again to Mark Remy for writing "Standing Ovation" - I've read this dozens of times over the years and it still brings tears to my eyes.

4) Family, Friends & Followers

Many thanks to our family who helped us reach this milestone.

Many thanks to my twin, Leah, for running together with me.

Many thanks to our friends who supported us on our journeys.

Many thanks to my friend Elissa for her continuous support and inspiration. So grateful to Elissa for setting-up "Malinda runs 2017 Boston Marathon!" Facebook event and encouraging others to donate.

Many thanks to my friend Anne for her continuous support and inspiration. Anne ran her 1st Boston last year and wrote an emotional post about her experience that motivated me to keep trying to BQ.

Many thanks to our running friends from Charlottesville for making us laugh at the post-marathon dinner hosted by Heidi.

Many thanks to Mark Remy (Dumb Runner) for The World's Dumbest Coverage of the World's Best Marathon® and for writing about his experience as a blind guide.

Many thanks to our followers on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter for your virtual support.

To be continued ...

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Malinda is Running the 2017 Boston Marathon for Dana-Farber Cancer Institute (#RunDFMC)

Malinda & Leah (2013 BAA 5k)

On April 17, 2017, I will join hundreds of Dana-Faber Marathon Challenge (DFMC) runners who will take to the streets to participate in the 121st Boston Marathon®. The DFMC team runs and raises funds with thousands of adults and children affected by cancer in mind. From Hopkinton to Boston, we carry thoughts of thousands of adults and children with us every step of the way.

I'm grateful for the opportunity to run for Dana-Farber Cancer Institute because 100% of every dollar raised by the DFMC team supports the Claudia Adams Barr Program in Innovative Basic Cancer Research at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

Check out this short video to see how funds raised through DFMC are fueling some of today's most promising basic cancer research.

My identical twin, Leah, finished her 1st Boston Marathon® in 2013. We were reunited moments before the tragedy and deeply affected by the pain so many families had to endure.

In the years following the tragedy, I was determined to qualify for the Boston Marathon® so that Leah and I could run together in memory of those who died and in honor of those who survived.

Since 2013, I've attempted but failed to qualify 11 times while continuing to raise awareness and funds for pediatric cancer research.

I am now more determined than ever to qualify during the 2017 Boston Marathon® while raising funds to support the Claudia Adams Barr Program in Innovative Basic Cancer Research at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

I am grateful for the opportunity to be part of the DFMC team so that Leah and I can run together in memory of Michael, GG, Joe, Susan, Kyle and all those we know who have died from cancer.

Please join us in the fight to conquer cancer!

No donation is too small and 100% every $1 donated will help fund cancer research!

Together, we're headed toward the ultimate finish line: a world without cancer!

Thank you for your support!

Monday, May 5, 2014

Why I Run Broad Street: Solace, Community and Sisterly Competition

Why I Run Broad Street: Solace, Community and Sisterly Competition
Originally Posted on WHYY Newsworks

Over the past two years, my identical twin, Leah, and I have shared our experiences on our blog, "Twins Run in Our Family," Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. Much to our surprise, we've gained quite a following of runners, twins and/or parents of twins. We're often recognized at races when we wear our shirt that has our logo on the front and our tagline on the back: "If you're passing me, I'm Malinda. If I'm passing you, I'm Leah."

I started running in 1993 for fun, and I finished my first marathon in 1995. Since then, I have completed 12 more marathons and a few dozen races, including three Broad Street Runs. Over the past couple of years, I've become known for tweeting during races while wearing a sparkle skirt or costume. Sometimes I get called out by spectators for tweeting while running, but most of the time people are amazed that I can do both at the same time.

Leah started running in 2007 to lose weight. Since then, she has become a self-professed race addict, finishing more than 100 races, including 24 marathons. She races nearly every weekend and often wins her age group in local races in Charlottesville, Virginia. She has qualified for the Boston Marathon three times by completing a marathon in less than 3 hours and 45 minutes. She finished her first Boston Marathon last year and returned for her second time this year.

In 2010, I was diagnosed with gastroparesis, a condition that causes severe stomach pain, nausea and vomiting. There is no cure for gastroparesis and only a few treatments available with varying success rates. In 2011, I had a gastric neurostimulator (stomach pacemaker) implanted, which has provided some relief. My symptoms can be debilitating at times, but I continue to run whenever possible.

In 2012, our grandmother, affectionately known as "GG," died suddenly of lung cancer. Her unexpected death affected me profoundly. While the grief was intense, I found moments of solace while running.

Because of my experience with chronic illness and grief, I'm truly grateful for every step, and I'm determined to make my miles matter. I'd rather run in a charity race to raise awareness for a worthy cause than run a fast time. Sometimes, much to my surprise, I'm able to do both.

On March 17, 2012, 9 years to the day after Leah's brother-in-law, Michael, died from childhood leukemia, we decided to run together to make a difference. We joined Team Lemon to support Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation for Childhood Cancer in memory of GG and Michael. Over the past two years we have raised awareness and over $2,000 for childhood cancer research.

I ran the Broad Street Run for the first time in 1999 when there were just over 7,000 runners. I ran for the second time in 2012 with over 35,000 runners, and I was happy to finish in 1:29:02.

It's been amazing to see running increase in popularity while people in the running community continue to be supportive of each other. Whether you run fast or slow, we all run together.

Last year, after being present during the tragedy at the Boston Marathon, I decided it was important for me to cheer on my fellow runners on Broad Street. My eyes were full of tears as I saw so many runners wearing red socks in support of Boston.

Yesterday, I was grateful for the opportunity to run Broad Street once again. It's an honor to participate in a race that means so much to so many people while benefiting so many worthy causes. Not only was I able to run to support Alex's Lemonade, I also ran my fastest 10 miler and finished in 1:16:23. Sometimes, it is possible to run for a good cause and a good time.

http://www.newsworks.org/index.php/essay-works/item/67635-why-i-run-broad-street-solace-community-and-sisterly-competition

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Run in Memory of Meg Menzies #MEGSMILES

Photo by Dave Weber via Meg's Miles Supporters

Daniel Sangjib Min/Richmond (Va.) Times-Dispatch

Gina Junkermann of Richmond, Va., places running shoes with the message of "MEG STRONG WE LOVE YOU!" at Hickory Hill Road and East Patrick Henry Road in Hanover County, Va., in honor of Meg Menzies, who died Monday after being struck by a car. Junkermann said she used to run with Menzies.

Photo by Daniel Sangjib Min

From the Meg's Miles Facebook page:

"Meg Cross Menzies was tragically killed by a drunk driver while out for her morning run on January 13, 2014. As an avid runner, member of the Richmond Road Runners Club, and Boston marathoner, she was a member of the running family nationwide. In her honor, our hope is to raise awareness of drunk driving, texting and driving, and overall safety of runners and cyclists everywhere.

"This Saturday, January 18, 2014, no matter what your distance, no matter where you live, run for Meg. Take in the fresh air, be aware of your surroundings, keep your headphones on low, feel the heaviness in your lungs, the soreness in your legs, and be grateful for it--for all of it. The sweat, the pain, the wind, the cold…everything. Be grateful for that moment.

"Feel free to post pictures of yourself pre-run or post-run, post your distance, post your thoughts, prayers, condolences with the hashtag #megsmiles. Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. Let all runners unite together and remember the loss of a beautiful spirit. It's not a coincidence the hashtag reads either 'Meg's Mile'" or 'Meg Smiles.' She will be smiling on all of us forevermore."